My Life
by turmy
Summary: Have you ever wondered where you're life went wrong? When You Became someone you could barely stand to look at any more. Human Story. Starts out Bella/Carlisle eventual Bella/Edward. No Beta


**_Chapter 1: Introductions_**

Have you ever wondered where you're life went wrong? When You Became someone you could barely stand to look at any more.

When I was 5 I had a plan. I was going to go to school and be someone. I had always dreamed of being a lawyer. My mom would always laugh when I said this she would tell me "Bella you will be a fantastic lawyer. I have never heard anyone argue like you". I never did become a lawyer.

Instead I became a bitter, lonely 30 something year old woman who is married to a man she can barely stand to sit in the same room with. In essence I became my mom.

Renee my mother hated her life. She married at 19 to man she didn't even like because her mother pushed her into it, she was in my grandmother's words "doing nothing with your life and need a man"

My father Charlie was a drunk. At least he was a happy drunk. Those are the only times I remember any of us wanting to be around him. When he wasn't drinking he was mean. None of us were good enough for him. We were not the kids he wanted. He had an ideal perfect family and none of us fit the bill.

When I was around 3 and my brother was 7 mom threw Charlie out. She said she was done. My dad left with no fight. In fact he met some woman and ran off to Oklahoma with her just days later. He stayed gone nearly a year with her, before he came back begging to spend time with his kids. He said over and over again how much he loved us and would change. He would be better. He didn't realize that while he was gone my mother actually divorced him.

She allowed him to be around us. Eventually letting him move back in and trying to work things out with him for our sake. In 1982 Jasper was born and they remarried. He didn't change though.

Sure he was good for a while then he went back to his drinking and his asshole ways. She was once again stuck with a man she hated and now 3 kids. My dad either lost his job or just quit altogether I can't remember. We ended up living out of our car. Until my grandmother on my father's side we could stay with her. She was a piece of work. I started to understand why my dad was the dick he was. My grandmother was a nasty, stingy woman who didn't care about anyone but herself. Sure she let us stay with her but it was only so she could constantly tell my mother what a good woman she was by helping us poor people. She also looked at it as a way to get someone else to clean and cook for her. My mom became her maid.

Soon enough my mother was fed up again and my dad had to either figure out a way to move us into a stable home or she would leave him again taking the 3 of us with her. He got a job and moved us to a small town in Washington.

Before I knew it my mother was pregnant for the last time and my dad finally had a good job. One that made enough money for them to actually buy a house. Emmett was born January of 1986.

Finally things seemed like they would be okay, I was wrong. My dad started working a swing shift and my mom became more and more withdrawn. She was miserable but she refused to leave. She had no job skills and no way to support her 4 kids. My dad came home drunk nearly every night claiming he was out with friends. Which really meant he was out screwing some woman.

When I was 15 my older brother James came home from his girlfriend's house and announced that she was pregnant. My brother was 19. He was pissed she waited so long to tell him. He didn't want the baby. The girlfriend was an older woman around 25. She was divorced and already had 3 other kids. Twin boys and a girl. He didn't even like them. He insisted that she would be giving the baby away since it was too late to abort. My mom was not having it. She didn't want her grandchild being raised by strangers. She and my dad agreed they would adopt the baby. What my brother and his girlfriend neglected to tell them until 3 months later is that the baby was actually two babies. Apparently we were gaining twins. That is how my mom ended up with 6 kids by the time she was 40.

Rosalie and Mary Alice were born in September of 1992. I always wanted sisters. My dad finally had the kids he wanted. Beautiful girls with some color in the skin. One was blond the other had a head of jet black hair. Both had these big bright blue eyes. They were everything to my dad. He forgot he had 3 other kids that still lived at home.

My brother moved on with his life pretending the girls were never anything to him. He didn't care about them.

When I was 17 and a senior in high school I got my first real job. I was a telemarketer selling newspapers over the phone. It was a shitty job but it gave me extra money and it allowed me to help my mom pay for things for the other kids. I had friends and a social life outside of work and school. It was probably a little more social then it should have been at that age. I was not the nicest of girls. I was far from being innocent in all ways. I liked guys and I had a good time with them. But at least I was careful. I was never planning on having kids. Especially in high school. I refused to end up being stuck. I was going to be a lawyer remember.

Then I met him, Carlisle Cullen. I had never seen a man that was so beautiful. He had blond hair and blue eyes. When he would smile it would make my whole body blush. He was a perfect specimen. He was also married and had a child on the way. He was 24. Not to mention he was my boss.

I tried to avoid him then he told me that his wife had left him because she couldn't handle being married. She moved home and they were divorcing. I became his friend. Then he started giving me rides home from work. The next thing I know were in a sexual relationship and he is telling me he is in love with me. I believed him. By this point I loved him and was ready to spend the rest of my life making him happy. I quite going to regular high school and started going to night classes. This meant I would not graduate on time. But I didn't care I was in love.

We would spend our day's together making love and working on a plan for the future. When I got in a fight with my mom over something stupid I moved in with Carlisle. I stopped going to school altogether. My dream of becoming a lawyer vanished. I lived in a two bedroom trailer with a married man. I stopped speaking to my family. And I started depending on only him. I still insisted I was happy. I was doing the right thing.

**AN:**_ I know this chapter is long winded but I needed to give a little or a lot of back story before I can actually get into. I'm not sure yet where this story will go. I know that I would love to see it end in a somewhat happy ever after. I just cannot guarantee it. Let me know what you all think please. This is my first time actually writing anything down. I'm not sure what I am doing here. _


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